Yep, it’s a new day and another week! Perhaps we aren’t where we want to be or doing what we want to do but we are here. Because we are here, I suggest we make the most of it. Since the shelter in place started, I’ve been spending more time with my family. Prior to this, we were together but not really, if that makes sense. We were together physically but didn’t interact a whole lot. My husband and I have been together for over 25 years and married for 20 of those years. After all that time, a couple can become complacent and take their spouse for granted. Our son is about to be 15 and all he wants to do is play video games online with his friends. Most of that time is in his room. Heck, sometimes I even forget he is here because I hardly see him. Even his eating schedule was different than ours. Previously, I didn’t see him much because he was at school for 6 hours a day and when he came home, he would be up in his room doing copious amounts of homework. Now, he does copious amounts of schoolwork in his room. With all of this separate togetherness, my husband and I decided to change that.
Since our son spends an inordinate amount of time in his room, I make a point of going to check on him. I get to see his progress and check his mood. Plus, I get to say hello and maybe get a hug while I’m there. If he’s in a good mood, we’ll even chat a little bit. It takes him a long time to do his work because invariably he is distracting himself with his phone or going to a gaming website on one of his many open tabs. Sure, I could police him and make him stay on task but I just don’t have the time or the energy to do that. Well, okay, maybe I do have the time but who wants to do that? What I’m hoping will happen is that he discovers that if he just does what he’s supposed to do he will see how much quicker he can complete his work. He has experienced this and was totally blown away by it but isn’t good about continuing that habit. Maybe it’s just the immature adolescent brain that prevents them from wanting to do what they should do that will make their life easier. Ah well…I tried. It’s up to him to figure it out. and actually want to do it for it to happen.
Previously, I stated that our son’s eating times were not necessarily the same as ours. In addition to that, he would eat in the dining room if one of us was eating in the kitchen. Sometimes, he’d eat in the dining room if we were both in the kitchen. At first, it wasn’t an issue, per se because my husband would be on his iPad, our son would be on his phone and I might be on my phone or doing a math puzzle. Usually though, if we were all at the table together I would encourage everyone to put down their electronics so that we could talk. So now, we all eat together in the same room at the same table. No more electronics and we try to have a conversation, not an inquisition, but an actual conversation.
The last thing that we instituted is family fun night. It’s just like it sounds. We basically play games together for an extended period of time. Lately, it has been games for the Xbox Kinect. In fact, as I was starting to type this blog, my husband came in to show me a new game for family fun night. He really seems to get into this and I’m glad. Our son seems to be coming around slowly but surely. The first time he was a bit stiff and apprehensive about participating. He was constantly looking at his phone and being a bit despondent at times. We had a few moments that were funny and he chuckled a little or cracked a small smile. The next fun night he was a bit more open. He freely participated and openly laughed a few times. Yes, he still checked his phone but he was more present than he had been previously. The night after that we had movie night. That was our second movie night as well and he said that he liked the movie my husband chose. The first movie my husband chose was not really to his liking. He said it was predictable, which it was.
All in all, I do think that we are becoming a family again. The day to day drudgery made us forget that. Time has flown by and we know that it will only go by faster as adulthood nears for our son. It kind of makes me sad because I know I will miss having him around. There are times when he does frustrate the heck out of me but that’s all a part of him growing and stretching as a person. Trying to find your independence is a difficult thing for everyone involved. All I hope is that our best was good enough.
Oh, one last thing…I fixed my computer! Yay! This blog was typed on my computer and I’m so happy! But you know what? While my computer was down it allowed me to pivot and do some other things that I needed to do. My computer, much like my son’s phone, was distracting me from doing other equally important tasks. I’m still working on those tasks but I have a better chance of finishing them now that I’ve started because I hate starting other tasks until I’ve completed the one ahead of that one! Anyway, I do hope you got something out of this week’s blog. He’s a quote that I thought fit quite nicely. Enjoy.
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.